Okay, so I need your help!!

I need to blog on a more disciplined schedule.  But where do I draw the line??  Is keeping everybody’s name out of this keeping our anonymity??  Am I jeopardizing our privacy, or the girls feelings, by letting everyone on the planet (ok, the handful of people that actually read my posts) know what my innermost feelings are??  Why do I feel the need to tell strangers my deepest thoughts??  Does the answer to that question really matter??  This is what I know, I feel better, more positive, closer to God, praying more regularly, if I share my inner most feelings to strangers.  I don’t feel I can tell anyone else these lovely and sometimes heart breaking details of my life.  Do I need a mental professional??  I can’t afford one!!  Blogging (at least the way I do it) is cheap!!  It’s the easiest form of self therapy I have found.  Quite frankly, journaling doesn’t work for me.  Why write something no one will read, and asking people to read your journal just comes off as a little bit freaky, don’t you think??  Am I in my right mind??  Or even my left mind??  Sorry, a bit of dancer humor, right foot, left foot, just follow me, don’t think about which foot. 

This is the secret to my success as a dance teacher.  Shhh!! Please don’t share that with anyone!!  Have I mentioned how much I LOVE to teach dance.  I LIVE for the moment when the student’s face brightens and actually understands the technique we’ve been working on.  I just wish I had more students.  As I’m typing this one of my new weekly regulars just canceled.  UGH, that is so FRUSTRATING for me.  It comes down to, she didn’t organize her calendar well and she has a conflict.  I’m irritated!!  UGH!!  So, all you blog buddies, are you up for a blogging dance lesson??????????  Cool!!  As soon as I figure out how to do that, I will get right on top of it!! HA!

Seriously, though, would LOVE to hear your comments!!  Let me know what YOU think!!

On a side note, if you EVER notice a typo of ANY sort, PLEASE tell me!!  OK THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

Gold Stars

So, I’ve a bone to pick.  Do you realize how hard it is to sit a stepchild’s sport activity next to your husband’s ex and put your best foot forward????  There are things I know that make that extremely hard.  I know it is best for both kids for me to do just that.  But, is it too much to ask, to get a gold medal or a gold star, or some other gold covered thing, to reward such behavior???  I guess my problem is, I’m still the second grade kid wanting the teacher’s approval and fill that heart with good behavior first, so I can get the prize.  How sad is that?????  I didn’t say near the things I wanted to, to THAT woman, my husband’s ex.  Not to be confused with my step kids mom.  You see this is how I get through it, and how I get my husband to get through it.  I don’t talk to or have anything to do with my husband’s former wife.  However, I will laugh at, pretend to be interested in, and genuinely listen to the kids’ mom.  That is something that is important to me.  No matter how I feel about her mothering skills, or ability to treat these girls lovingly, she will ALWAYS be their mother.  This is something I will NEVER be.  Therefore, it is important for me to know, that 2 of the three kids were pigeon toed slightly on their right foot.  That the oldest seemed to grow out of it and the youngest is on her way to growing out of it.  This is something I care about and have some professional knowledge about.  I am a dancer, a ballet, tap, jazz and ballroom professionally trained dancer.  I know about muscles and anatomy, not as much as a medical doctor, but significantly more than the average person.  This is a very important fact I learned.  Had I said the things I wanted to, to my husband’s ex, I would have NEVER learned these facts.  But because I was interested in speaking to the kids’ mom, I learned a valuable fact.  WOW, that’s what comes to putting your kids (or even your step kids) first, before your need to feel superior or better than your husband’s ex.  Now if I can just get my hubby to make me a chart where we can add up those gold stars!!  Think it will happen??  Me neither!!! HA!!

Giving Up!

Giving up!

I’m famous for it!

I’m good at it!

However, I’m never happy about it.

I tend to give up early, on everything!

1.       Cleaning house – It’s always dirty; it will never be “clean enough” (due to my perfectionism within) so why start??  Just give up and live in filth.   No one around here seems to mind, much!

2.       Accomplishing anything – like organizing my closet so I can find the clothes that fit – why do it, there aren’t going to be enough clothes to choose from, so why start??

3.       Enjoying life – something is going to go wrong – have you watched the news lately??  I mean come on; just around the corner another will be another tragedy.

4.       I’m good at getting through tragedies, so why do anything until the next one??

Ok, it’s depressing me more to write it out!

Yikes, I have a problem and being snowed in ISN’T HELPING!!

I don’t know where to start, but I think I need help!

H . . . . E . . . . L . . . . P . . .  .

Off to find sunshine and rainbows – even if only on the screen of the laptop!!

Thanks for listening!

I gotta figure out how to see that glass half FULL!!!!!!

Any hints, I will be glad to hear them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SNOW

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS SNOW!!

I’m ready to move to Florida or Hawaii!!

Who needs 4 seasons, really??

This is nuts – Someone save me??????????

(Ok, technically Jesus has already saved me, but all this snow is a bit much, isn't it???  I mean I don't live in Chicago or anywhere close to being north.  I'm closer to the middle.  I think it's time to migrate south!!  Number one reason that won't work - - - - - Too bad my girls are rooted closer to the middle!!  Dang it!!!  I'm sure I can come up with more reasons, but who has the energy.  It's 6 pm and I haven't even made it out of bed except for bathroom and kitchen vists!!!)

To help my feeling of such lacking of EVERYTHING:  Here are some photos from the hubby.

Here's hoping this snow storm is over soon, it's starting to affect my mood!!

Upbeat and Making Progress

Who would’ve guessed??

I’ve blogged about the youngest one.

It’s now the eldest’s turn.

I was completely taken aback the other day.

I have to give a bit of background information here to make this make sense, so bear with me please.  I must talk about my phone.  My phone and I are inseparable.  Seriously I can’t breathe without it.  I know it’s terrible.  I seem to have an addictive personality and right now it’s my phone and Dr. Pepper.  Compared to my past, I’m doing MUCH MUCH better.  One thing at a time is my motto.  So I’m always checking my phone, facebook, twitter, texts, games, etc.

So my phone vibrates the other day, nothing new, really.  When I look at my phone, it’s a text, FROM THE OLDEST.  First thing to do is to check the hubby’s phone.  Nope, there was no text on his phone from her.  I open the text, and it’s just a random thought she wanted to share.  HALLELUJAH AND PRAISE THE LORD.  I can officially say my oldest and I have a relationship.  We continued to talk for about 6-8 more texts.  It was absolutely lovely.  I tried VERY hard not to come through the texts as I was physically.  Jumping up and down, doing the happy dance.  Wow, perseverance and patience pays off.  It worked, it worked.  I love that girl more and more every day.

Thank you, Lord, for your many blessings (even when I see them as complaints and hardships!).

Now to wait on the next moment of breakthrough. . . . . .

The Job?????

The job

UPDATE on this post.

Well, he didn’t get the job; turns out corporate put into effect a hiring freeze.  WHATEVER!  Boo Hoo for our finances, but yay more time to be with family.  I have no idea how we are going to make it through this month financially, except to say I’m leaning on my faith.  Hubby has applied for every job he can find, and no one will hire him.  I’m doing my best to scrape every penny together, but it’s getting tight.  I’m consistently looking for more work as well and just signed a new student today!  So Praise God for that!! 

Please pray for us, that we see what God has planned for us.  As I truly believe He has a plan and his timing is perfect.  I’m just impatient.  I’m doing better, but at 38 I should be doing better!  LOL

Well I’m posting this cause I promised I would.

So I did.

Not that anyone noticed.

Here’s to hoping for a bigger blog following!

Thanks for listening.

Thanks for your prayers.

I pray for all of you daily! (Which right not doesn’t take long, there’s only a handful of you!  LOL)