RLA

RLA

Today marks two years without him, my husband’s only son.  I’ve blogged about him before.  Today is marked with so many emotions.  I long for my husband’s grieving to be “over”, yet intellectually I know that may never happen.  Not until the day he gets to see his son in heaven reunited with Jesus.  I pray for my husband today, that the grief won’t overtake him, yet I don’t want to forget.  I know my husband doesn’t want to forget him.  I miss the boy.  I never met the boy.  He was almost a man, just less than a month from 18.  His youngest sister is now older than he will ever be.   His baby sister is a decade old.  These are things he doesn’t get to experience.   In some ways this is so sad and depressing; it’s hard to get out of bed.  In some ways, it makes me really feel for his mom.  I can’t imagine the pain she’s going through, and I should probably be more understanding when she exerts her “momness” of the two girls into our lives.  I would never take away that she is the mom of three kids.  But as a stepmom (and you fellow stepmoms know what I mean), the bio mom can just be a pain in the neck.  However, that is a complete different post.  This is about RLA. 

I have no words.

I only have sad thoughts.

I miss him.

I never met him.

I love him.

I love to hear stories about him.

I wish I knew more.

I wish I knew less.

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish.

Wishing doesn’t do anyone any good.

I’m doing my best to step one foot in front of the other.  (bad musical memory here, did anyone else hear it?)

Pray for me today.

Pray for RLA’s dad today.

Pray for RLA’s sisters today.

Pray for RLA’s mom today.

Pray for RLA’s grandparents today.

Let’s all pray together!

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for your generous blessings and protections.  Please allow the angel of the Lord to encamp around each of the people hurting today over RLA’s loss.  Our loss is your gain.  May the peace that passes all understanding envelop each individual that hurts.  In Jesus Mighty Name I pray.  AMEN.